When the Lord first saved me, one of the very first things the Holy Spirit wrought in my heart as a new convert was a love for the local church. I grew up in church, and church attendance was a regular part of my spiritual life as an unconverted "churchian." But I never loved church. I liked my church friends and I enjoyed certain church related activities, but if it were up to me, I could do without it. You see, I was accustomed to church mess and church drama. I witnessed adults behave like children and segregate themselves into cliques. I saw partiality, gossip, flagrant adultery, blatant fornication, stealing, lying, abuse and every other work of the flesh you can name. Witnessing this kind of sin within the church as a child and a teenager caused my heart to grow more and more calloused toward the church. As a result, I purposely distanced myself from church life and had no intentions on voluntarily immersing myself in church culture. Keep in mind that I was an unbeliever. I didn't love God or his people and I had a growing distain for the church as I knew it.
After years and years of a variety of church experiences as an unconverted church attendee, there is nothing you could have said to me that would illicit any sort of favorable view of the church or church folks. But something miraculous happened to me when the Lord sovereignly saw fit to grant me the gift of repentance and saving faith: my heart almost immediately changed course and for the first time I longed to be with God's people. I wanted to serve and be around believers. I wanted to do life with them. I wanted to learn about them and their conversion. I wanted to hear all about what the Lord was doing in and through their lives. I cared about their children, their jobs, their health, etc. When I am not at church, something feels off. I feel disconnected. Usually if I have to miss church, like clock work, I know I am going to receive a text from my brothers and sisters in the Lord. They are checking on me to make sure I am not sick, and they are genuinely concerned for my well being. If I or a member of my family is sick, they are rushing in to meet our needs. It's not forced or contrived, but it flows from a place of love and concern for the brethren. We laugh together, we cry together, we pray together, we celebrate together.
The longer I am a Christian, the more I realize that I NEED the local church. Yes, I am apart of the universal church by way of the new birth, but being a member of a local church as a healthy, functioning church member has had a unique sanctifying work in my life as a believer. I am grateful for the local church because it is there where I learned how to do "one another's well. (1 Cor 12:12-31, 1 Cor 14: 26-36, 2 Cor 13:11-14, Gal 6:1-10.) I had to learn that I couldn't just pick up my ball and go home when my elders or fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord didn't bend to my wants or desires. I couldn't ghost my church family just because someone said or did something that I didn't like. I had to confront my own preferences and my own selfish desires and abandon them for the sake of the brethren, because it's not all about me. I learned more about giving than receiving. I learned that attending the Lord's Day worship with other believers wasn't even about me and what I should be getting. Who cares if they don't sing my favorite song just the way I like it sung? Who cares if the text isn't exposited to my liking? Who cares if I want the pastor to preach through Romans but he choses the book of John instead? Essentially, being connected to a local church taught me how to be a good sheep. Being a member of a local church forces you to examine yourself often, and the role that you play in the grand scheme of things. Here's a word of rebuke with as much love and sugar on top that I can possible provide in written form: It ain't about you.
It is vitally important for all believers to become a viable, active member of a local church. Your sanctification depends on it. Scripture commands us not to forsake gathering together. Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us that:
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
I know it's easy to focus on the "meet together part" and we should, but the writer of Hebrews also took the time to mention that "it is the habit of some" to not gather and warned that we should NOT be doing this. It should not be a habit that we neglect the gathered body of believers. The internet is no substitute for stirring up one another to love and good works. It is in the context of the local church where the born again believer learns how to forebear with other believers especially when they disagree. When you are in face to face fellowship with other Christians in the context of the local church, you are FORCED to deal with their imperfections and they are forced to deal with yours. You become incredibly mindful of the fact that you are a SINNER saved by grace and that you have not arrived or received your glorified body yet. None of us know it all. You learn how to charitably disagree. You learn how to love one another with the love of the Lord and you learn that you cannot discard or dispose of people as if they are a pair of used underwear.
Being a member of the local church is also where you learn how to serve others in a spirit of humility. The Lord uses the local church to humble us, but more importantly to sanctify us. You learn that you are accountable to other Christians and this accountability is exercised often when doing "church." right. When done right, you learn in the local church just how jacked up you really are. And sometimes, it's not pretty. But it's for our good and for HIS glory.
Here is what we know: No local church is perfect, and as the saying goes, as soon as YOU join, it will definitely be marred with imperfection. But one thing the local church should do is force you to examine yourself. A few self examination questions we all should be asking ourselves as it relates to being a good churchmen are:
- Am I serving sacrificially and actively looking for ways to serve in my local church or am I looking to be served?
- Am I in a rush to leave church as soon as it's over or do I take time to fellowship with the brethren in an effort to get to know others. Am I assessing any immediate needs that may require my help and I am looking to fulfill those needs?
- When conflict arises, do I take the time to examine what role I played in the matter?
- During conflict, even though I believe I might be right, how did I respond?
- What is the overall posture of my heart and attitude as it relates to others? Is my heart in the right place? Are there situations that I could have handled differently?
- Am I seeking restoration or am I looking to be right?
- Is this a hill worth dying on?
- Am I being humble before the Lord?
- Do I seek to build up, exhort and encourage or do I seek to tear down, destroy and demolish?
- Do I welcome accountability and make it easy for others to approach me or am I intimidating and don't receive correction well?
- Is my first knee-jerk reaction to lash out or do I take some time to consider that others are trying to convey?
- Am I seeking to repent or am I seeking to take offense?
- Do I spend a great deal of time complaining? Am I known as a "Debbie Downer?"
- Are there vestiges of spiritual brokenness and carnage everywhere I go or am I a breath of fresh air and a joy to shepherd?
The Lord uses the local church as a means of grace where by the Holy Spirit works in your life to sanctify you. If you find in your Christian walk that the finger of accusation is always pointed outward, this could be a symptom of not being connected to a local fellowship or a sign of ones failure to submit to the governance of a local church. If people are always hating on you and everyone else is always the problem, it could be that you are resisting a means of grace that the Lord wants to use to grow and mature you. Pride, ego and willful rebellion are the main stumbling blocks that prevent Christians from being good church members. If you are not actively seeking to become a member of a local fellowship, (not a perfect fellowship) then I would argue that some self examination is warranted. Your sanctification, growth and maturity as a believer depends heavily on being a member of a local church. If you are not in a local fellowship as a committed and faithful churchman, I would strongly urge you to get busy and prioritize finding a church home because your spiritual health is at stake.
